Tag Archives: Tumblr

Your Reality is Through a Screen

5 Nov

colourlesscolours.tumblr.com

getthroughthisnightmare.tumblr.com

nobodywearsitlikeyouanymore.tumblr.com

I was debating whether or not I should include another gif and ultimately decided against it as I try to make my posts more content-focused.  But everyone in the lesbian world of shipping knows damn well that one more gif would’ve lead to gifs of every lesbian relationship ever portrayed on television, which we know them all.  The Queer fandom world is unlike any audience I’ve ever been a part of; occupied by some of the most talented, devoted, and passionate people I’ve had the pleasure of admiring.  With social media platforms like Tumblr it’s easier than ever for us to share our fantasies and interpretations of our favorite onscreen relationships in the form of fanfics, gifs, and everything else in between.  While I enjoy every single minute of scrolling and reading, sometimes I stop to think is it sad that I’m practically living an important aspect of my life through glowing screens?

For those of us who don’t have that great group of lesbian friends like the ladies of The Real L Word, where else are we supposed to go for a community that feels like a friendship?  The art of shipping fictional characters (yes it’s totally an art) may appear a bit insane to outsiders, but I completely understand and appreciate the necessity for it. It’s an expression and manifestation of the things we hope for ourselves, the things we don’t see in everyday life because we may not know a lesbian couple personally.  Years ago when South of Nowhere first aired in 2005 I remember so badly wanting to talk to anyone about my love for Spencer and Ashley (Shipping name: Spashley).  I wasn’t out yet and I had never heard of anyone else mentioning the show so I just kept everything to myself.  Luckily I was pretty tech obsessed and ended up finding the Spashley message boards online where I would sift through posts finding obsessed girls like me as well as the confused and scared.  Message boards, the original Tumblrs without the breadth of personalization, gifs, audio, video, and well… pretty much everything.  But it’s all we had and I know how much they helped me discover myself and share parts of me with strangers who felt similarly.

Fandoms of the Queer persuasion also know how frustrating it is to be a devoted shipper, as the relationships we crave are more often than not destroyed and/or ruined in the least favorable of ways.  Yes I’m sure we’re aware that not all of our beloved relationships can go exactly as we’d like, but can we have just one that works out, gets adequate story time, and avoids making generalizations or upholding stereotypes?!  Networks, I do applaud you though for the strides you’ve made and keep making i.e. The Fosters and maybe Grey’s Anatomy?  Calzona of Grey’s Anatomy is one of the few relationships I’m not familiar with because I haven’t watched the show since season 1 aired 100 years ago.  However, you better believe I’ve seen the gifs and quotes from the couple on Tumblr so basically I know them.  I’m glad we can be here for each other in our times of need.

At the end of the day I’m never truly embarrassed or sad that some of my most significant sources of joy come from those awesome users that run fandom Tumblrs like a well-oiled machine.  You can always count on them for gifs generated literally 2mins after an episode airs (seriously how the hell do you guys do that?), questions answered, theories proposed, and overall companionship.  This only becomes a potential social misstep if you lose the ability to keep a grasp on reality and the real life relationships that you should be cultivating. That’s not an issue for me at all but it would be nice to have that close “lezbro” who gets unnecessarily excited when your favorite queer characters look at each other in that way.  I’m sure that lezbro (or maybe even girlfriend) will come along someday so until then I will unabashedly continue to dive deep in the waves of queer shippers and fandoms.

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You’re The Only Single One… In Your Group… Of Straight Friends…

10 Apr

Month after month, your friends and acquaintances repeat to you “Be patient… there’s someone out there for everyone.”  But is there really?  Truly, in the depths of my hopeless romantic soul, I do believe this.  But then reality slaps me back into this atmosphere, eyes wide open, and I can’t help but to observe it’s happening for everyone but the lone lesbian.  Or at least seemingly everyone (because obviously it’s not all of my friends… yet).  It just seems so easy for them to glide in and out of relationships and hookups.  Where do I sign up?

Screen shot 2013-04-02 at 10.13.50 PM

How do you even date in the lesbian world?!  If you’re currently in an environment where there are no quality lesbian bars to choose from (or none at all), you’re pretty much stuck in a rut.  When you go out with your straight friends, you go to straight bars/clubs.  They’re kind of the most depressing places on earth because you have to get drunk enough to: 1) dance with whatever gross guy approaches you with no rhythm.  2) ignore the fact that all your friends are making out with someone and there you are swirling your drink(s).  3) build up enough bravado to approach the women you find attractive (and most likely get graciously denied).  I think the Tumblr post above states it best:  “Dating in the gay world is like finding a job.  You either do it on the internet or get referred.”  Well I must be doing something incorrectly because I have yet to be referred or found Internet gold in the dating or job world!  Not that I’m in a hurry or anything but I wouldn’t mind having a little distraction.  Also, having people repeatedly ask me if there are any girls in my life is getting tiresome.  I know being a lesbian automatically put me in the category of “get ready to never date anyone” because only ~3-6% of the American population identify as something other than heterosexual, but I didn’t think it would be this difficult.  Again, I know my environment at the moment can account for some of the difficulties I’m facing.  Although I think I’m thankful that I’m not caught up in a lesbian scene because based on personal accounts posted on various websites, it can get messy and everyone seems to have been recycled.  I mean, you know “The Chart” (Another L Word reference…  DO YOU SEE HOW MONUMENTAL THAT SHOW WAS TO LESBIANS EVERYWHERE?!  CAN WE BRING IT BACK PLEASE? OR SOMETHING LIKE IT?!  IN AMERICA?!).

 

P.S. all my pictures all clickable to the original source of the photo.

So how do we handle this situation?  Luckily we find ourselves in an era where hundreds of digital dating tools are at our fingertips.  We have dating websites like OkCupid and whatever the name of that site Facebook constantly advertises on my page (Sapphos, I think?).  We also have iPhone apps like Tinder and Grindr.  I’ve briefly browsed OkCupid a few times and each time I’m either underwhelmed with the suggestions or creeped out by the approach of many of its users.  Maybe one day I’ll return and give it another shot.  As for Tinder, I’ve heard it’s kind of fun and creepy to use but they do have a “girls only” option!  Now you may be thinking to yourselves ahh tech dating… yeah right.  Believe me, I still think that way in a sense.  My mind (or heart) still believes that I’ll find a version of love during some random encounter like in the movies.  However, it’s 2013!  Why not make use of all your resources?  If none of those suggestions specifically created for dating work for you, maybe you’ll get lucky and find some random on Tumblr or in the comments section of a lesbian website.  You just never know…

Sometimes when I’m left alone with my thoughts I often wonder if I were straight, would I have a boyfriend right now?  We’ll never know… I have a handful of guy friends who I think came into my life because we are soul mates.  I think they are truly the greatest and kindest souls on the planet and yet somehow every single one of them are single.  When we talk about dating and our chronic singledom, they always tell me that I’m much more interesting and intriguing than the straight girls they’ve met (I mean I probably am, haha).  In response I always tell them that they’re much easier to deal with than the lesbian/bisexual/bicurious girls I’ve ever met.  It’s a hilarious cycle of conversation.  Maybe I’d feel better if I had a really close lesbian friend who was also single and could share my sentiments.  Until I get that friend or have Fate place a stunning lady in my path, I think I’ll make an honest effort in concentrating on improving myself and reaching my goals.