Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section

Fear of Mediocrity

24 Jan

blog.apollorootcause.com

Mediocrity is a word that I’ve feared before I even knew how to pronounce it.  Ever since teachers began scribbling grades on assignments and I had classmates to compare my performance with, I’ve always unconsciously sprinted in the opposite direction of mediocrity.  If you were a product of my household then you would bring home nothing less than excellence or face some dire consequences.  From childhood throughout my intermediate studies and experiences, the thought that I may in fact be mediocre never crossed my mind.  No, this was not due to the millennial byproduct  Special Snowflake Syndrome, but rather being raised under the rule that producing what is expected of you (excellence) does not qualify for reward(s).  However, as I continue to get older and am surrounded by unmatchable personalities in real life and on the Internet, I find myself thinking… do I reek of mediocrity?

Mediocrity certainly moves within a multi-dimensional space depending on the one defining, the surrounding people who help influence that definition, and other factors.  There are plenty of occasions though, in which it is very clear that mediocrity is the standard and the apex.  Surrounding myself with people who surpass me intellectually, spiritually, physically, culturally, etc. guarantees in the least that I’ll constantly be striving for something greater than my current self.  This then begs to ask, will I continuously find the present version of myself mediocre?  Or possibly, it is not that I will find myself mediocre as a whole, but the results of any efforts I put fourth as so.  It is possible that extraordinary persons can create ordinary work without being reduced to mediocre as a whole.  Is the person who can acknowledge, interpret, and discuss seen and unseen components in extraordinary works just as valuable as the creator, or are they doomed to remain in the category of mediocre?  Cue the phrase “those who can’t do, teach” (not something necessarily I agree with).

If mediocrity is largely subjective and unfixed, is it ever possible to transcend it?  I suppose if you find yourself walking in shoes similar to Steve Jobs or The Dalai Lama then this isn’t even an issue (if it is an issue).  But what about the rest of the regular folk out there, how do we transcend?  The Internet has allowed for every user to become a producer making it increasingly difficult to appear a little more than mediocre.  Thought Catalog kind of ushered in the era of “everyone is a philosopher with something important to say”, which eventually triggered an avalanche of rewarded mediocrity.  This rewarded mediocrity then gets absorbed by millions of mediocre people and so on and so fourth.  But if the work brings in funds then there really is no reason to change approach in the business sense.  Morally though, holy shit we are incubating a generation of kids who will fear critical thinking.  I am probably exaggerating though, but I digress.

However mediocrity be defined, a latent fear will always remain no matter what success I reach.  The more time it takes for me to reach different levels of success, the more I consider myself mediocre.  Maybe this speaks upon my self-confidence.  I think as long as one stays motivated to progress towards goals, continuously raises personal standards, and observes and acknowledges genius, then that is all you can do as a responsible human being; mediocre or not.  If skill (and luck) have it you become a trailblazer, then what a blessing from the Universe.

Advertisements

The Art of Rejection

22 Dec

garylawrencelive.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/garylawrence20.png

After sitting in my drafts for a bit I’ve yet to come up with any new, profound points about experiencing and consequently rising above rejection.  I’ve also been temporarily paralyzed by my (most recent) personal meeting with rejection.  Hopefully I avoid sounding like a whiney millennial because… none of those are here right now.

In the last two weeks I made it to the final round of candidates for a dream position of sorts, had quite the encouraging interview (with encouraging activity from the interviewers), and waited for a week in high but realistic spirits.  A week later I was smacked in the face with the most generic rejection email.  It was almost as though I had never talked with anyone affiliated with the organization.  I refreshed my inbox several times to insure I did not read the message incorrectly.  But of course, there it was, the rejection just comfortably sitting there–mocking me.

It’s almost comical how many instances of rejection we will experience in our lifetime.  That little girl didn’t want to hold your hand in the sandbox.  Your body rejected your first navel piercing.  The girl with a constellation of freckles (damn I’m sounding like Thought Catalog…) and honey eyes politely rejected your offer to take her on a date.  Your professor rejected the topic for your final paper.  Your dream job and others like it send you a sugary coated e-reject on a weekly basis.  The list infinitely continues.  Rejection is the gift that keeps on giving (among the other “gifts” that keep on giving).  Yes, it is a gift if you take the necessary steps and use it as a catalyst for growth and success!

Here are my steps:

Step 1 is a completely natural response to disappointment and should not be skipped.  After every other failure comes back to haunt you,  I think it’s appropriate to spend a short amount of time acknowledging your sadness.  What a great way to remind yourself that you have feelings, meaningful goals that you would like to accomplish, and have made efforts to reach them.

I find myself suspended in step 2 whether or not I’m going through the stages of rejection.  I know my generation is supposedly stuck in the “existential vacuum” and I am completely corroborating that notion.  However, existential does not necessarily equal nihilistic, apathetic, or lazy–which are additional terms that often get thrown into the vortex of immobile millennials.  

Step 3 is somewhat like a passive rebellious phase for me. My mind begins conjuring up images of me traveling to exotic destinations and being transparent; rejecting western values, corporate America, and the white picket fence portrait (Note:  I already generally reject these notions to lesser degrees).  Ultimately, I am all bark and no bite.

Alas, the light at the end of the rejection tunnel reveals itself as step 4 slaps you back into reality.  Your friends and friendly strangers are there bandaging your wounds, giving you lollipops, and offering you all kinds of next steps that never even crossed your mind.  Confidence regenerates and you’re feeling stronger than ever.  You even appreciate the rejection because with it came experience and evidence that you are trying to level up in life.

Leveling up requires the final step of getting back out there.  Change your approach and typical patterns that seem to result in rejection.  Maybe there’s a different strategy or perspective you did not consider because it’s unfamiliar to you.  Tweaking your routine will yield other results and get you one step closer to that life goal.

This is the simple way in which I experience rejection.  I probably sound dramatic but it’s not my fault because I’m involuntarily hyper-aware of my emotions. Embrace rejection.  You were rejected for a reason so kindly thank the Universe for nudging you in more correct directions.

My Coming Out Story.

18 Oct

At 23 posts I suppose it’s about that time I share my “coming out” story with my readers.  My apologies for my lack of posting (if anyone cares).  I’ve been a tad busy trying to be a real adult, which is rather challenging…  And my apologies for how wordy and unnecessary the following stories will seem:

I consider myself quite fortunate to be one of those lesbians who subconsciously knew she was different at about age 10.  I recall chasing girls around the playground and wanting to hold their hands much more than the boys; and that didn’t seem strange or abnormal to me at all.  I just knew that it was girls who made my stomach do backflips, and it felt good, and I wanted more.  To this day I still remember the girl that stole my heart at the jungle gym.  She’s married now (holy shit I must be old.  23 isn’t old), but even still when people ask me when did I know I was gay, I always mention her and my heart flickers a bit because she’s the one that started it all.

In 8th grade when girls started to experiment with boys and talk about them all the time I remember participating in conversations but I felt disconnected.  But like every year of my life it seems, there was a girl I had a crush on and we had this (what I thought) was an unspoken attraction.  I didn’t know what we had and I was probably misinterpreting everything per usual, but there was a reason I cried the day she moved and I never saw her again.  Such a sap I am.  In between her was another crush on someone who used to be my best friend (I know we were 2 way crushin’ on the first girl) and we played softball together.  GO FIGURE.  All the attractive and cool guys wanted her and she eventually picked one of them to be her long term boyfriend.  I was devastated especially because I thought we had some weird unspoken attraction as well.  I’m hardly wrong about those unspoken attractions.  Fast forward a few years and what do you know she’s dating a woman and they’re still together to this day!  All the while with these crushes, my ultimate crush was on this “gothic” beauty Amy Lee from Evanescence.

If you took a peep at all of my notebooks and binders from 7th grade though High School there was a 96% chance that Evanescence symbol would be scribbled somewhere.  This woman was the first significant female celebrity crush I had.  I owned every poster, magazine cover and article, CD, saw her in concert, and even had some autographed concert tickets and a belt buckle she apparently wore during one of her concerts.  Needless to say I was completely obsessed.  Fast forward to the latter days of High School and I was ready to come out to my friends.

The great thing about my High School friends (who are still my good friends) is that they were and still are the forward thinkers, the intellectuals, and the “hippies” so to speak.  I couldn’t ask for better friends.  I told different groups of friends at different times and they all had the same reaction: Explosive laughter and a bunch of “we’ve always knowns.”  What a relief. I  knew they would react that way but your first time coming out to meaningful people is difficult.  Fast forward to my freshman year of University and I was ready to come out to my parents.  *cue foreboding music*

Ah yes, the dreaded coming out to your parents.  What a stressful and anxiety ridden period.  Before I came out I bought Chaz Bono’s (then Chastity) book Family Outing: A GUIDE TO THE COMING-OUT PROCESS FOR GAYS, LESBIANS AND THEIR FAMILIES and studied the pages as if I had finals that week.  Once I felt confident enough in myself with the backing up friends and my roommates, I plotted my plan (I’m so grateful for the friends I made at University because they really helped me through a lot and I truly could not ask for better confidants).  I decided the best way to communicate with my parents would be to write two heartfelt letters because I wanted to make sure I was as thorough and clear as possible.  My parents are divorced so I had to do this twice.  I strategically gave my dad his letter a couple hours before he left for a week long vacation.  Mind you it took me at least an hour to build up the courage and hand it to him before I ran away and buried my head under pillows.  He read it, cried, hugged me, and apologized for making gay jokes in the past and proceeded to explain to me the kind of environment he grew up in and their opinions on gay people.  I eventually gave him the Chaz Bono book and he still has it in his desk drawer.  I’m unsure if he ever read it or not.  Overall I think it was a pretty successful coming out.  Although I was told a year or so down the road that he thought I was going through a phase.  That was about five years ago and surprise I’m still falling in love with ladies.  Giving my mom the letter was much easier.  I stopped by her house when she wasn’t there and left the letter in one of her drawers.  I called her and asked if she got it and of course she didn’t because I put it in the one drawer she never looks in.  After she read it she called  and laughed at me saying she’s known since I was in 6th grade.  Who knew?!  She then called the local PFLAG organization and had a conversation for whatever reason.  Coming out to my mom was a success as well.  I’m sure there were some feelings of sadness because I am her only daughter and you guys know how moms are.

At 23 years old I have the joy of saying I’ve never been rejected by any family members or friends.  At least not explicitly rejected.  My parents and I have never talked about my sexual orientation since I gave them the letters, which is understandable.  My family doesn’t really talk about dating or people we’re interested in because we’re all very much our own  private entities.  Whenever I do have the pleasure of finding a girlfriend I will not hesitate to introduce her to my family.

One thing I didn’t talk about in my story was the  depression and void I felt before coming out.  I think I touched based on it in my previous post, but if you can imagine it was horrendous.  I didn’t even feel like a real person.  It was more as if I was watching someone else on a little television with bad reception in a dark room.  The closet is truly suffocating and you’ll never be able to start your life until you acknowledge those feelings.  It’s one of those clichés that are overwhelmingly truthful.  So for anyone that has yet to come out, I highly encourage you to.  Seek the right people out if you need help whether it’s a friend or a stranger online.  Seek me out.  Life is much better on the outside, I promise.

Titillating Tech Things

7 Jun

Did I get you with the word titillating?  Or was it tech?  Either way, not only am I a fan of the things I’ve written about in previous posts (women, film, television, etc), but I’m also a huge fan of technology.  I’m all for gadgets that make my life easier or apps that help me discover things I didn’t know about.  So my first tech feature will be on an app called Impulcity.  Impulcity is an interactive event discovery app for the iPhone (The Android version will be launched soon).  It takes your location, anywhere in the U.S., and will quickly tell you what cool things are happening around you.  Or you can search any city or zipcode and see what’s happening around there.  Concerts, drink specials, poetry nights, sporting events, family things… Literally anything that’s going on around you, Impulcity will show you where it’s happening.

The app is so much so a “must have” app of the summer that The Today Show featured it on their tech segment today.  So, click on the links in this blog post to check out the buzz.  I also hope you don’t mind me writing about things outside of lesbian issues.  I’ll probably in the future do music posts as well.  There is so much to discover out there!  Go fourth and find it!

The app is at #8 in iTunes’ top free Lifestyle apps.

Screen shot 2013-06-07 at 4.05.29 PM

Screen shot 2013-06-07 at 4.02.51 PM

YOU CAN’T BEAT FREE PEOPLE!

Are Gay Men Averagely More Attractive Than Lesbians?

17 May

I don’t want to start this post with pictures of people because it’ll make me feel shallow and judgmental.  I’m bringing this topic to the surface because it is something that I’ve heard many heterosexual and homosexual people make mention of.  When I surf pictures of gay pride rallies and other events where there are large crowds of LGBTQ people, I can’t help but notice that the average level of attractiveness of the gay men seems to be quite a bit higher than that of the lesbians.  I even can speak from personal experience.  When I went to pride in my Midwestern hometown, it just seemed like the men present were averagely more attractive than the lesbians.  What do I mean by attractive?

The definition of “attractive” is so subjective that I’m not even sure what I mean by attractive.  I suppose for an elementary and basic definition, I can use physical health as a starting point.  Physical health meaning weight, condition of the skin, teeth, etc.  I feel like people will label me shallow as soon as they read this, but I  don’t think there is anything wrong with being attracted to people who take care of their physique and like to keep their skin/hair/teeth/etcc in optimal condition as well.

It’s not a secret that there is an existing stereotype that seemingly many lesbians are overweight and unhealthy (equating to unattractiveness using my basic definition).  A hospital in Boston even received significant funds to conduct a study to “examine the interplay in gender and sexual orientation in obesity disparities (excuse me if my source is too unreliable, I did not have time to sift through scholarly articles… If any exist).”  However terrible and judgmental stereotypes are, they exist in partial truths.

When I talk to my heterosexual friends and even my gay friends about gay men, I hardly hear anyone mention unattractive (physical) features.  Usually the first words I hear when someone is describing a gay man is how beautiful they are.  Their perfectly primped hair,  amazing physique that a woman would  kill for, their cleanliness, and their pristine wardrobes.  Why is that?  Does it have to do with stereotypes and gender roles and how gay men seem to transition to a more effeminate look after coming out while gay women masculinize their look?  We’re raised to find feminine features beautiful, even on men.  So feminine=attractiveness?

Obviously I know everything is based on ones perception.  I also know that my experience is based off of my location in the world.  In the Midwest, people are more overweight here than in other parts of the country.  I have a friend who comes home from Seattle a few times a year and each time she comes back to Ohio she always makes a note about how much larger people are in Ohio in comparison to Washington.  However, I have friends in California, New York, and D.C. who tell me regularly how attractive the lesbians are there.  Their definition of attractive usually includes something describing their physiques.  At this moment in my life, fitness is a pretty important attribute to me.  I workout pretty regularly and try not to be completely reckless about what I eat.  Considering those things are important to me, I also think it’s reasonable for me to be attracted to someone who also feels somewhat similarly.

(Let me clarify that just because I think I would want to date someone with similar physical routines as me, does not mean I discriminate against those who do not share the same routine as me.)

I’m not sure if I accomplished what I wanted to with this post, but I really just wanted to discuss this topic because I know it’s crossed some minds a few times.
What’s your take?

Sexuality, Race, Dating.

9 May

I googled "interracial couples" to find these images

It’s the subject people hardly like discussing because… well because we’d all like to think that in 2013 this is not an issue or a factor in our decisions/thoughts, but in reality, whether consciously or subconsciously, race does have an influence in our mind.

I’d like to start out with mentioning that I love discussing race/ethnicity often, especially as a person of color.  I love hearing various perspectives, asking questions, and navigating the thoughts of others, specifically those of the caucasian persuasion.  I wish more people could  discuss this important topic in a scholarly and non-threatening manner, but as I said earlier, it’s a sensitive topic.

I will start by building a platform of myself.  If I am walking down the street, 100% of passing strangers will classify me as African American.  That is a correct observation.  I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood.  I went to elementary school, Jr High School, and High School in an environment that was quite diverse.  In fact, the diversity that I grew up around seemed to be an anomaly of sorts as I grew older and talked to more people about their childhood.  Even with all this diversity, my childhood/current friends are still predominantly white.  This is most likely due to the classes I was enrolled in during school.  I’ve taken advanced classes since I was in 5th grade and it just so happens that ~96% of my classmates for seven years were white.  I received my bachelors degree in 2012 at one of thee whitest Universities  in America.  We’re known as the “Public Ivy League” and the average student seemingly is wealthy, preppy, stuck up, attractive, and well… white.  If you only spend a short amount of time on that campus you will certainly come to those conclusions.  However, I spent four years there and I truly couldn’t imagine going to a different University.  Granted, I probably would’ve fit in much better at numerous other institutions but I like a challenge when it comes to people.  In 2013 my friend group, which feels large, is still predominantly white.  One thing I hear often from them as well as strangers is  “you’re not really black…” and a variation of this statement.

Personally I think my perspective of race, behavior, and relations is far more mature than most people.  I feel like could write a dissertation on the matter.  But I digress.  There’s a reason we as humans stereotypes and compartmentalize different groups into categories.  It helps us quickly make judgements about people in order to protect ourselves.  It’s an unconscious evolution thing (I think).  How does this innate human behavior affect us when it comes to dating?

We can’t help who we’re attracted to.  My history of attraction with real life people just happens to be 100% white women.  Now if you put celebrities in that percentage then we’d need a pie chart to illustrate.  Nonetheless, I think who I’m currently attracted to comes from the environments I’ve spent the majority of my lifetime in.  I’m not saying that I could never be attracted to a woman who is not white.  Actually, every time I’ve gone to visit  friends in cities that are  breathtakingly diverse, my attraction shifts to just about every woman who is not white, or at least my interests greatly diversify.  I love that I’m able to do that.  My worry is that the majority of others aren’t able to do that.  For me, dating outside of my race has never even been a concern.  Not once have I ever been fearful of being attracted to someone who is not African American.  My siblings display the same philosophy as well.  They too have never dated anyone who was African American (not to my knowledge).  I think my concern lies in the fact that I know it’s hard enough to come out as LGBTQ, but then to lay on your friends and family that your partner is of a different race adds another complex dimension.  No one wants to make things harder than it already is, so why would they take that risk?  Maybe I’m just lacking confidence in the human race as a whole.  My faith in people and their willingness to explore things and people different from them is pretty nonexistent.  I often hope I’m wrong.  But then I remember that not everyone is the same and those people who live with tunnelvision eyes are not for me.  There are people out there who are attracted to the person and not what they look like.   But what happens  if you fall for someone with tunnelvision eyes?  I live my life carrying a grandiose personality and I try to throw it on every one who comes near me.  However, I walk through life subconsciously thinking someone will miss out on me because they’re not attracted to someone of my color.  Again I know that’s their loss, but what a terrible occurrence.  People immediately dimiss others because they’re not attracted to them, because their race isn’t in their history of attraction.  I do that too…

So how do we deal with this?  Just keep being yourself.  Be the best you and the right people will hopefully gravitate towards your presence.  If you ever fall for someone and they don’t like you back because of your skin color, well most likely you’ll never know.  How often will someone tell you they’re not attracted to you because you’re not white, black, latina, etc?  Rarely, because most people are respectful enough to not be explicitly assholish.  My last advice:

BE OPEN TO WHO YOU LOVE.  YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU COULD BE MISSING.

(I’ll try to follow my own advice)

(P.S. yay for television/media trying to become more diverse with programming.  Opening minds.  You still have a ways to go)

(P.P.S. Sorry if this was so scatter-brained.  I have so many thoughts about this)

You’re The Only Single One… In Your Group… Of Straight Friends…

10 Apr

Month after month, your friends and acquaintances repeat to you “Be patient… there’s someone out there for everyone.”  But is there really?  Truly, in the depths of my hopeless romantic soul, I do believe this.  But then reality slaps me back into this atmosphere, eyes wide open, and I can’t help but to observe it’s happening for everyone but the lone lesbian.  Or at least seemingly everyone (because obviously it’s not all of my friends… yet).  It just seems so easy for them to glide in and out of relationships and hookups.  Where do I sign up?

Screen shot 2013-04-02 at 10.13.50 PM

How do you even date in the lesbian world?!  If you’re currently in an environment where there are no quality lesbian bars to choose from (or none at all), you’re pretty much stuck in a rut.  When you go out with your straight friends, you go to straight bars/clubs.  They’re kind of the most depressing places on earth because you have to get drunk enough to: 1) dance with whatever gross guy approaches you with no rhythm.  2) ignore the fact that all your friends are making out with someone and there you are swirling your drink(s).  3) build up enough bravado to approach the women you find attractive (and most likely get graciously denied).  I think the Tumblr post above states it best:  “Dating in the gay world is like finding a job.  You either do it on the internet or get referred.”  Well I must be doing something incorrectly because I have yet to be referred or found Internet gold in the dating or job world!  Not that I’m in a hurry or anything but I wouldn’t mind having a little distraction.  Also, having people repeatedly ask me if there are any girls in my life is getting tiresome.  I know being a lesbian automatically put me in the category of “get ready to never date anyone” because only ~3-6% of the American population identify as something other than heterosexual, but I didn’t think it would be this difficult.  Again, I know my environment at the moment can account for some of the difficulties I’m facing.  Although I think I’m thankful that I’m not caught up in a lesbian scene because based on personal accounts posted on various websites, it can get messy and everyone seems to have been recycled.  I mean, you know “The Chart” (Another L Word reference…  DO YOU SEE HOW MONUMENTAL THAT SHOW WAS TO LESBIANS EVERYWHERE?!  CAN WE BRING IT BACK PLEASE? OR SOMETHING LIKE IT?!  IN AMERICA?!).

 

P.S. all my pictures all clickable to the original source of the photo.

So how do we handle this situation?  Luckily we find ourselves in an era where hundreds of digital dating tools are at our fingertips.  We have dating websites like OkCupid and whatever the name of that site Facebook constantly advertises on my page (Sapphos, I think?).  We also have iPhone apps like Tinder and Grindr.  I’ve briefly browsed OkCupid a few times and each time I’m either underwhelmed with the suggestions or creeped out by the approach of many of its users.  Maybe one day I’ll return and give it another shot.  As for Tinder, I’ve heard it’s kind of fun and creepy to use but they do have a “girls only” option!  Now you may be thinking to yourselves ahh tech dating… yeah right.  Believe me, I still think that way in a sense.  My mind (or heart) still believes that I’ll find a version of love during some random encounter like in the movies.  However, it’s 2013!  Why not make use of all your resources?  If none of those suggestions specifically created for dating work for you, maybe you’ll get lucky and find some random on Tumblr or in the comments section of a lesbian website.  You just never know…

Sometimes when I’m left alone with my thoughts I often wonder if I were straight, would I have a boyfriend right now?  We’ll never know… I have a handful of guy friends who I think came into my life because we are soul mates.  I think they are truly the greatest and kindest souls on the planet and yet somehow every single one of them are single.  When we talk about dating and our chronic singledom, they always tell me that I’m much more interesting and intriguing than the straight girls they’ve met (I mean I probably am, haha).  In response I always tell them that they’re much easier to deal with than the lesbian/bisexual/bicurious girls I’ve ever met.  It’s a hilarious cycle of conversation.  Maybe I’d feel better if I had a really close lesbian friend who was also single and could share my sentiments.  Until I get that friend or have Fate place a stunning lady in my path, I think I’ll make an honest effort in concentrating on improving myself and reaching my goals.

Do Gay Men Outnumber Gay Women?

11 Mar

tweet

Back in October one of my favorite successful and out lesbians was answering questions via Twitter.  Lauren Bedford Russell participated on Showtimes The Real L Word and has since garnered much more visibility in the lesbian community.  She is currently travelling with sexy girlfriend Kiyomi Mccloskey and her band Hunter Valentine.  Aside from starring on a lesbian reality show, Lauren is also an established jewelry designer, advocate for gay rights, and educator of multiple sclerosis (as she was recently diagnosed with).

I decided to ask Lauren a question that has kind of been on my mind ever since I began discovering my own sexuality and so on.  I asked her if it seemed like there are more out gay men than women and she she replied with a “very much so.”  While I was in college I kind of noticed that there seemed to be more “out” gay men on campus than out women.  Obviously my conservative  University located in small town Ohio does not represent every environment, but my observation seems to hold true in the public eye as well.  When we hear entertainment news concerning the gay community in terms of engagements, coming out of the closet stories, or scandals, they always seem to be about men.

So I began thinking, is this a true perception?  There are a couple of factors that could paint this picture and one of them is due to the fact that men are still the more dominant images in media.  Men still dominate news and entertainment allowing them to easier receive exposure on topics other than body image or clothing choices.  But this doesn’t account for the gay men who are not celebrities.  Another factor could be that female friendships are often more intimate than male friendships, so the line between gay and straight is a bit more blurry.

Another reason why I’m curious about this perception is because to my observations, it seems as though American culture is more comfortable with two women being in relationships than men, promoting an easier transition for women to come out.  Maybe it’s possible that there are more lesbians but for some reason they don’t feel the need to come out or fear the process more.  I don’t feel as though it’s necessary to “come out” persay, but I think it’s important to embrace ones sexuality and be proud of your attractions.

I wouldn’t have questioned my perception so much, but since a significant figure often socializing in gay environments feels the same way, I thought it was a worthy topic to write about.  Obviously there’s no good way to measure the number of out gay men to women, but it would be interesting to know.  What do you guys think?

Why The Lyrical Lesbian?

8 Feb

Let me just start off in the most cliché way I know how:  A DEFINITION!

Search "lyrical" find this

Lyrical:  Expressing the writer’s emotions in an imaginative and beautiful way.

If you know me or get to know me you will discover that my emotions control a lot of what I do.  I’m the kind of person who needs to let someone know how I feel about them or else it consumes my thoughts and plays on repeat inside my head causing deep exhaustion.  This goes for platonic friends, unrequited lovers, random people I pass in public, people who make me feel something, etc.  It even goes for music, which is a whole other blog entry.  Basically, if I feel something about anything there will be a sentence scribbled, song played, poem typed, or entry written about it somewhere.  While my writing is far from being technically sound I hope it makes up in the ability to touch someone… In the comforting way like when the weather is perfect and still in the spring.  My brain operates similarly to a blender except when ingredients begin overflowing down the sides no one is there to turn it off, and things just keep getting added.  It’s all very confusing.

As for the second title of my name:  Lesbian.  At the moment in the month of February 2013 I self-identify as a lady lover.  I’ll tell the whole story in a later entry.  Later entry as in the next one because it’s something that means a lot to me.  I know sexuality is just a portion of who I am but it’s a significant one and I love to talk about it!  So talk about it I will.

Thank You for reading your introduction 101 to The Lyrical Lesbian.