Anatomy of this Personality

8 Sep

E: 33% N: 50% F: 50% P: 11%

I haven’t taken the MBTI  since my sophomore year in college. One of my best friends and I took a course designed for students who were trying to find any sign of their life-path hidden under residual debris left by the shit storm known as Life.  We had recently switched our major from the soul-sucking field of Chemistry (I still love science) and were hoping that a series of questions followed by some guidance could help us.  I know some people are hesitant to trust a test that details your personality, but I guarantee Myers-Briggs will describe you quite accurately.  My memory evades me of my first results but I’m confident they resembled the ones above, which is what I got after taking the MBTI a few weeks ago.

According to the Myers Briggs, I have the personality type ENFP: Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perception.  How does Myers Briggs describe this?

  • ENFPs are initiators of change, keenly perceptive of possibilities. They energize and stimulate others through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in fluid situations that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma. They tend to idealize people, and can be disappointed when reality fails to fulfill their expectations. They are easily frustrated if a project requires a great deal of follow-up or attention to detail.

I can’t express how precise this description is… of me.  This also partially explains why my “coming out” period was especially difficult,  why I fall so hard from such great heights for ladies, and why (I think) my never-wrong Gaydar is modified to curious “straight” ladies.

Lets briefly discuss Extraversion and my coming out.  Imagine being the most boisterous and obnoxious kid in every classroom.  You always shouted answers, said hi to everyone, were probably classified as crazy, and were mostly full of enthusiasm that you wanted to share with friends and strangers.  Next, picture the exact moment in time  you discover the word defining your feelings for women, and that it isn’t normal.  Your internal sun burns out indefinitely and you crawl inside yourself only to fall to the darkest depths of your being. Depths so devoid of light that you pray (even if you’re not religious) no one else has to feel their way through it.  I’m sure closeted-introverts  have found themselves in similar darkness, but as a notorious extrovert it really took a toll on me.  Thankfully my internal sun has been burning brighter than ever for a while and I’m back to regularly scheduled enthusiasm.  People call me the life of the party and generally look in my direction to reassure themselves that it’s ok to start dancing in a bar where no one else is dancing.

I had to mention my habit of falling from such great heights because honestly, how the hell could this test know that my personality is the type to idealize people and be highly disappointed when expectation does not meet reality?  How the hell?  My friends will be the first to tell you how devastated I am when someone doesn’t meet my vision of them. I don’t know why I do this and I wish I didn’t because it steals so much energy from me.  However, I feel a bit better knowing that it’s a personality trait that is natural to me and it’s something I can work on.

Finally, lets chat about my magnificent Gaydar that needs re-callibrating.  Having a working Gaydar can be the most helpful tool a lesbian can have especially if you’re more of feminine-ish lesbian attracted to mostly other feminine lesbians.  Really there should be awards handed out to fem lezzies who find other fem lezzies because it’s thee most frustrating activity ever and I wish there was an easier way.  There isn’t one so we rely on Gaydar, or in my case Bi-dar or curious-dar.  As an ENFP I am keenly perceptive of change, able to anticipate the needs of others, and work best in fluid situations where I am able to use my charisma.  I’m thinking that this is a deadly combination for reeling in all the curious, feminine straight girls.  I can perceive which ladies are feeling me, anticipate what they might be missing from boys (and fill it in), and then I use my charm in situations to catch them.  This cycle continues for a while until they get freaked out and run away or push and pull me until I’m done.  Nonetheless, thank you Myers Briggs for helping shed some light on my tendencies.  Maybe one day I will stop this vicious cycle.  Or maybe I’m addicted to it in some sick way.

I hope this didn’t make me sound like some cocky asshole tootin’ her own horn.  I’m just reporting results.  ENFP’s are known as “Champions,” which means that when they “speak or write,  they are often hoping to use their convictions to motivate others to participate in advocacy or they hope to reveal a hidden truth about the human experience.”  What a coincidence, that is precisely the reason I started this blog.

What’s your type?

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2 Responses to “Anatomy of this Personality”

  1. tiffany267 September 9, 2013 at 12:17 am #

    Love this. I can definitely see where you are coming from, and I very much relate to the extroversion problem you talked about.

    BTW I also like that personality test – I’m a pretty strong ENTJ, and it sums me up rather accurately 🙂

  2. Erica January 12, 2014 at 5:55 am #

    Hi there, it’s great to know that there are other ENFP Lesbians out there 🙂

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