I don’t want to start this post with pictures of people because it’ll make me feel shallow and judgmental. I’m bringing this topic to the surface because it is something that I’ve heard many heterosexual and homosexual people make mention of. When I surf pictures of gay pride rallies and other events where there are large crowds of LGBTQ people, I can’t help but notice that the average level of attractiveness of the gay men seems to be quite a bit higher than that of the lesbians. I even can speak from personal experience. When I went to pride in my Midwestern hometown, it just seemed like the men present were averagely more attractive than the lesbians. What do I mean by attractive?
The definition of “attractive” is so subjective that I’m not even sure what I mean by attractive. I suppose for an elementary and basic definition, I can use physical health as a starting point. Physical health meaning weight, condition of the skin, teeth, etc. I feel like people will label me shallow as soon as they read this, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with being attracted to people who take care of their physique and like to keep their skin/hair/teeth/etcc in optimal condition as well.
It’s not a secret that there is an existing stereotype that seemingly many lesbians are overweight and unhealthy (equating to unattractiveness using my basic definition). A hospital in Boston even received significant funds to conduct a study to “examine the interplay in gender and sexual orientation in obesity disparities (excuse me if my source is too unreliable, I did not have time to sift through scholarly articles… If any exist).” However terrible and judgmental stereotypes are, they exist in partial truths.
When I talk to my heterosexual friends and even my gay friends about gay men, I hardly hear anyone mention unattractive (physical) features. Usually the first words I hear when someone is describing a gay man is how beautiful they are. Their perfectly primped hair, amazing physique that a woman would kill for, their cleanliness, and their pristine wardrobes. Why is that? Does it have to do with stereotypes and gender roles and how gay men seem to transition to a more effeminate look after coming out while gay women masculinize their look? We’re raised to find feminine features beautiful, even on men. So feminine=attractiveness?
Obviously I know everything is based on ones perception. I also know that my experience is based off of my location in the world. In the Midwest, people are more overweight here than in other parts of the country. I have a friend who comes home from Seattle a few times a year and each time she comes back to Ohio she always makes a note about how much larger people are in Ohio in comparison to Washington. However, I have friends in California, New York, and D.C. who tell me regularly how attractive the lesbians are there. Their definition of attractive usually includes something describing their physiques. At this moment in my life, fitness is a pretty important attribute to me. I workout pretty regularly and try not to be completely reckless about what I eat. Considering those things are important to me, I also think it’s reasonable for me to be attracted to someone who also feels somewhat similarly.
(Let me clarify that just because I think I would want to date someone with similar physical routines as me, does not mean I discriminate against those who do not share the same routine as me.)
I’m not sure if I accomplished what I wanted to with this post, but I really just wanted to discuss this topic because I know it’s crossed some minds a few times.
What’s your take?