Do Gay Men Outnumber Gay Women?

11 Mar


Back in October one of my favorite successful and out lesbians was answering questions via Twitter.  Lauren Bedford Russell participated on Showtimes The Real L Word and has since garnered much more visibility in the lesbian community.  She is currently travelling with sexy girlfriend Kiyomi Mccloskey and her band Hunter Valentine.  Aside from starring on a lesbian reality show, Lauren is also an established jewelry designer, advocate for gay rights, and educator of multiple sclerosis (as she was recently diagnosed with).

I decided to ask Lauren a question that has kind of been on my mind ever since I began discovering my own sexuality and so on.  I asked her if it seemed like there are more out gay men than women and she she replied with a “very much so.”  While I was in college I kind of noticed that there seemed to be more “out” gay men on campus than out women.  Obviously my conservative  University located in small town Ohio does not represent every environment, but my observation seems to hold true in the public eye as well.  When we hear entertainment news concerning the gay community in terms of engagements, coming out of the closet stories, or scandals, they always seem to be about men.

So I began thinking, is this a true perception?  There are a couple of factors that could paint this picture and one of them is due to the fact that men are still the more dominant images in media.  Men still dominate news and entertainment allowing them to easier receive exposure on topics other than body image or clothing choices.  But this doesn’t account for the gay men who are not celebrities.  Another factor could be that female friendships are often more intimate than male friendships, so the line between gay and straight is a bit more blurry.

Another reason why I’m curious about this perception is because to my observations, it seems as though American culture is more comfortable with two women being in relationships than men, promoting an easier transition for women to come out.  Maybe it’s possible that there are more lesbians but for some reason they don’t feel the need to come out or fear the process more.  I don’t feel as though it’s necessary to “come out” persay, but I think it’s important to embrace ones sexuality and be proud of your attractions.

I wouldn’t have questioned my perception so much, but since a significant figure often socializing in gay environments feels the same way, I thought it was a worthy topic to write about.  Obviously there’s no good way to measure the number of out gay men to women, but it would be interesting to know.  What do you guys think?


10 Responses to “Do Gay Men Outnumber Gay Women?”

  1. Serious Says May 11, 2013 at 11:42 pm #

    i am a straight man that is seriously looking to meet a good woman today, but there are many of them that will curse at me when i will try to start a normal conversation with them. very hard for me to meet a good woman to share a life with, and many of them are certainly gay since they are so mean to us good men nowadays. there are certainly much more gay women, and Bi women as well.

  2. Very Much Agree June 4, 2013 at 7:56 pm #

    isn’t it very obvious why us good straight men can’t seem to meet a good woman anymore?, and i would certainly agree.

  3. Sigh... October 15, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

    It is egotistical and disillusioned to conclude that the most likely reason a woman would deny your advances is because SHES gay? If this is something that happens habitually to YOU, I would look at the one constant in the situation, YOU.

    • Telling The Truth October 22, 2013 at 1:34 pm #

      Oh by the way, there is Definitely something Wrong with a Woman if she has to Curse at us men when we will try to start a conversation with them. just Maybe, she is most likely Mentally Disturbed or Gay. would i Curse at a woman that came up to me to start a conversation with me? Absolutely Not. so why should we be Cursed At?

      • mscarmel November 15, 2013 at 5:37 pm #

        Maybe youve been running into the wrong women not all women are like that and I would never curse at a guy that’s just trying to have a civil conversation with me.

      • skeptic December 5, 2013 at 7:00 am #

        ^ troll, men’s rights activist, or weird chauvinist foreigner. gotta be one of the three

  4. Thinking alike December 20, 2013 at 3:20 am #

    I find this comment thread hilarious. Women usually are upset by advances because they have been bothered enough or had a rough day, not because they’re gay haha. But as a response to the original post… I also feel like there are more gay men. I have no friends who are lesbians but I have more than a few guy-friends who are either bisexual or gay. I came upon this post because I was also wondering if there were more gay men. I think this is because men being gay is more “scandalous” and therefore more newsworthy as you were saying.

    • Paul Schober December 20, 2013 at 10:28 pm #

      It’s almost certainly a fact that there is a massive disproportion of male to female homosexuals in Western society. It’s hard to argue that male homosexuals are stigmatized more than lesbians, so it’s an almost certainly that more men are in the closet than women. Therefore, since we tend to see more men than women who are gay, it’s an almost sure bet the real disproportion is even higher.

      And I hate to say it, but such a disparity DOES argue more for nurture than nature.

    • Reality Check October 30, 2014 at 2:18 pm #

      How are Straight Men suppose to meet a good woman since there so messed up nowadays.

  5. Sas February 20, 2014 at 8:45 am #

    There does seem to be a lot more gay males then females, I mean (and this might just be me) but I think on television shows there seems to always be a gay couple of the male gender then of the female.

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