You Fell In Love With ANOTHER Straight Girl

28 Feb


Ah… The L Word, we meet again.  The show was so perfect because it really made an effort to address essentially all issues pertaining to lesbians no matter how farfetched the plot eventually became.  Dana hits the nail on the head sharing with Tina her frustrating and repetitive habit of being attracted to straight girls.  I, Dana Fairbanks, am all too familiar with that activity.  In fact, it’s largely all I’ve ever known…  Going through this event is a rite of passage of sorts for baby dykes, but for me it’s no longer a rite of passage but expected occurrence.

If I could be psychic and warn my future self not to gain any feelings or attachments to particular girls, I would.  But alas I have no special powers and am constantly left to slowly drown in heartbreak followed by feeling like a complete and utter moron for being falsely seduced by straight girls.  Is it my fault?  I suppose some of the blame can be put on me but then again, can you really help who you fall for?

If my numbers are correct, my count of “straight girls I have fallen for/all have had some physical contact with me” is currently too high for my liking.  How does this happen?  Generally, it begins as a friendship like most relationships, but feelings ultimately evolve as the two get closer and someone does or says something that is outside what is considered the platonic realm.  I know women tend to be more nurturing and emotional creatures so it is not too strange for female friendships to be more intimate than male friendships.  But it’s a whole different softball game when one member of the friendship is attracted to the same sex.  I don’t know how I find these girls or how they find me, but ever since 8th grade I’ve managed to befriend a girl who identifies as straight but ends up locking lips with me on more than one occasion along with confessing, in one way or another, their (not-so-sounding-platonic) love for me.  When I’m attracted to someone I let them know by my actions and words, even if it’s a girl who generally dates men ( I CAN’T HELP IT).  I think it’s up to them to sit your ass down and be like “Look… I love you you big dyke.  But I’m not into you like that.”   The earlier that conversation happens the better because you can begin the healing process and possibly get back to being just good friends.  Thankfully, all of my straight mistakes learning experiences have done that for me even if it was much too late in the friendship and after multiple times of embracing each other with our lips and cuddling.

The most difficult part of getting past the “I’ve fallen for a straight girl and can’t get up” is believing them when they say they’re straight.  It doesn’t matter how many times they kiss you, how many times they cuddle with you, how many gifts they give you, how many times they tell you things remind them of you… THEY ARE STRAIGHT.  Or maybe they aren’t straight but don’t feel comfortable labeling themselves as anything else but straight (labels are for cans) because the whole situation is new and different for them.  In that case it’s not up to you to force them into something they’re not ready to address in their lives.  The second most difficult part of moving on is moving on.  How do you get past someone you felt so deeply for?  I’m the wrong person to ask because when I decide I like someone, I like them long past the expiration date.  Writing, crying, reading, playing (guitar) and talking to friends have all helped me with the healing process.  When all else fails… watch a Hannah Hart video.  This one in particular:

Hannah says it best I think.  Someone will eventually come along and think everything you do is super duper cute and they’ll reciprocate the feelings you have for them 100% and not just half the time.  I know it’s hard but you just have to be patient and know that there is nothing wrong with you because you were rejected by a straight girl.


12 Responses to “You Fell In Love With ANOTHER Straight Girl”

  1. alexkellyoc February 28, 2013 at 1:37 pm #

    Yeah… Falling for a straight girl is always pain more or less since all you can do ,if you want to keep her in your life, is to love her secretly. You can also tell her straight what you feel towards her and expect the unexpected (or the expected-she doesn’t like you back because you’re a girl).
    Luckily, there are (despite a few) situations where falling for a straight girl can actually show you that she’s not really straight and the two of you can actually end up together for something long-term 🙂

  2. VeryTrue April 27, 2013 at 7:43 pm #

    yea, lesbians seem to be everywhere these days. just makes it much more harder for us straight guys looking for a good woman to share a life with.

  3. Jay May 17, 2013 at 5:43 pm #

    i am a straight man that had to make a comment here, and what about us men that are having a very hard time meeting a good woman today? there are very many of us good innocent men out there that know how to treat a woman very well, but with so many very nasty women out there these days it is very hard to meet a good one when they will walk away from us when we will try to start a conversation with them. and many of them will tell us to get lost and don’t bother us. it is very obvious to me that the lesbian population has certainly increased over the years, without a doubt.

  4. goldchic June 25, 2013 at 6:51 am #

    HA, I was sitting here trying to decide what to do with my “hetro girlfriend situation”, so I google such and found your blog. I, unlike you have a strict rule to never date a straight woman. And NEVER Ever a friend. omg no! But here I am. We have such a attraction. It is mutual. She gets jealous. She teases me. She hangs with me constantly. I invited her to live on my land and she accepted. Its like we are married for god sakes. Yet she dates men and it killes me to watch. My last effort is to quit smoking. and see what she does. She leads me to believe if I did not smoke it would be ON! Not sure what to do. I may be smoke free but the man thingy may not be.

  5. Adri July 13, 2013 at 9:45 pm #

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This post was meant for me ! lol I’m going through this same situation right now..I’m in love with my best friend & have finally had the balls to admit it and at the time she had a boyfriend and a WHOLE lot of drama occurred afterwards. Long story short her boyfriend told her to choose between being friends with me or staying with him…and she choose him. Me being the dumbass love sick pussy couldn’t accept it so I tried talking to her…and we ended up fighting…which lead to us getting suspended from college. Two months later she contacts me trying to reconcile our friendship…AND i just can’t. Even though I’ve forgiven her I don’t know how we can ever be friends. Btw I’m still in love with her…talk about lesbian drama lmao

    • kellz October 27, 2013 at 10:33 pm #

      Im in love with my straught coworker who has flirted with me. Im caught in ht web, she is beautiful n i cant get her outta my head. I know how you fell.

  6. Selena Gomez Lesbi August 12, 2014 at 6:54 am #

    Nice post, I realy enjoy it keep posting due

  7. jane September 9, 2014 at 1:43 am #

    I am in love with this beautiful straight woman. We have so much in common. We have even flirted with other. But she doesn’t know that I’m gay. She is interested in this man. Should I tell her how I feel

    • quarternotelife September 9, 2014 at 4:45 am #

      Honestly, and it pains me to say this, but you probably shouldn’t tell her how you feel unless you’re 100% prepared to lose your friendship with her. NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM CRUSHES ON STRAIGHT GIRLS. NOTHING. Unless this is that .000000001% occasion that something will work out. Let me know how it goes, whatever you decide.

  8. eso October 24, 2014 at 4:42 pm #

    I fell in love with my friend, and as soon as she found out, she stopped speaking to me. I’m trying to do perspective taking and understand her position in this, but I just can’t imagine ending a friendship with someone over their feelings for me. Further, she was the one flirting with me and dropping hints for months. It’s times like this, that I wish I had more gay friends to talk to,


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