“Holy Crap I’m Totally Gay” While Watching… (Television Edition)

20 Feb

If I was as rich, influential, and recognizable as Oprah, I too would have coined a two-syllable phrase that everyone and their grandma uses.  So I’ll use it as well. The “AHA!” moment.  You know the one where you’ve experienced repetitive behaviors or incidences when suddenly one day you put the clues together and come to a conclusion that seems obvious.  I can’t speak for every lesbian, but I’m sure many have had one of these moments or some mild form of one.  My AHA moments came into fruition while watching different shows and movies so I’ll share the ones I can remember with you.
We’ll start off with some television series that suspiciously caused my hormones to act up at what felt like inappropriate times:

Dark Angel was a television series that aired in 2000 and only lasted for two seasons.  In 2000 I was 10 years old and I can still remember this show having some kind of strange influence on me.  James Cameron was executive producer and it was a cyberpunk futuristic crime drama so naturally I was all over that.  But obviously it was the shows protagonist Max Guevara aka Jessica Alba that kept all my attention.  She made a living as a bicycle messenger and was generally clad in skin tight leather, the official ass kicking material of women apparently.  She defined sexy to me because she was strong and vulnerable, feminine and masculine.  Her wardrobe also oscillated between those spectrums.  Sometimes she’d be in heels and other times she’d be in sneakers and a ball cap.  At 10 years old I could pick up on these funny feelings that happened when a woman played with gender roles, but alas I did not know what it meant.  I also got pissed off every time she would end up with a guy so there’s that…

Hot Witches

Next on the show list is Charmed.  The first episode aired in 1998 and lasted for 8 seasons but I’m not sure if I was there in the beginning.  An Aaron Spelling baby, basically the show was about sister witches fighting evil that happened to find them all the damn time.  Similarly to Dark Angel, women kicking ass was the most basic premise.  You’re probably thinking how come she didn’t mention Buffy the Vampire Slayer?  Well to be honest it’s because I’ve never watched it!  Probably because it clashed with another one of my favorite shows 7th Heaven, which I was obsessed with.  Jessica Biel and Beverly Mitchell were so attractive.  But I’ve made a vow to watch Buffy in the near future since I have so much time on my hands nowadays (post grad seeking a “real job” more on that later).  The thing that charmed me about Charmed (lol) was again, having strong female leads who dominated their male counterparts.  Plus how hot were Alyssa Milano, Holly Marie Combs, Rose McGowan, and Shannon Dohtery?  It makes me feel old that Holly Marie Combs currently plays a mom in one of my current guilty obsessions Pretty Little Liars (all the girls are hot and there’s a lesbian subplot, sue me).  In conclusion, ass kicking ladies are my kryptonite.

Hottest Teen Lesbian Couple Ever.

The final show on the list is South of Nowhere.  This is the show I sought out aside from Degrassi that had an obvious lesbian premiss.  Airing in 2005, the show follows a girl from her move from a conservative life in Ohio to one that completely disregarded all of the values her stereotypically devout Christian family had taught her.  In 2005 I was 15 so approximately one year before I had my first “official-ish” lesbian type relationship and came out to some friends.  This show could now have come at a better time.  I was there from the first episode to the last.  Spencer Hastings was the innocent girl from Ohio and Ashley Davies was the badass bisexual beast from L.A.  Complete opposites who fell in love with each other.  I commend the show because it dealt with topics ranging from race and religion to questioning sexuality, parental relationships, and drugs.  “Spashley,” as the shows hardcore fans call them online still live on through infinite blogs and Tumblrs.  I think another noteworthy characteristic of this show was the amount of physical interaction between Spencer and Ashley.  They kissed and touched just like any other couple and I had never really seen that between a young couple my age.  Ever since the first episode aired I dreamt of having a relationship exactly like Spashely.  Still waiting on that.  If there’s one thing that being gay has taught me it’s that patience is your best friend.  Long Live Spashley.  You can watch all the episodes here.  I highly recommend it if you’re questioning yourself or even just to cure natural curiosity.

These are just the first three television shows that came to mind.  I can fill an entire scroll full of shows that I watched through the queer window and find some kind of obscure lesbian angle.  Where else am I supposed to get my lesbian fill?

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2 Responses to ““Holy Crap I’m Totally Gay” While Watching… (Television Edition)”

  1. middleagebutch February 20, 2013 at 11:38 pm #

    I can remember watching reruns of Beverly Hills 90210 pre-coming out and being fascinated by all the young girls … Tiffani Amber Thiessen especially.

  2. Pucker Up Buttercup February 21, 2013 at 12:19 am #

    Holy crap I’m totally old! I’ve never even heard of South of Nowhere and, while it wasn’t exactly my AHA! moment (that came the first day of 6th grade when Sheri walked into the classroom and into my pre-teen heart), the lesbian I lusted over on TV was Jo Polniaczek on Facts Of Life. And she wasn’t even gay, she was just the closest thing we had back then.
    http://puckerupbuttercup.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/say-it-aint-so-jo/

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